There are some "historic" photos of you lot and a fair bit of rambling by me. Please enjoy and leave any feedback. I apologise that I didn't dress up for the occasion - in fact it was really the rehearsal but I couldn't bear to do it again! I'm a lazy so and so. But I've had to change my perfectionist ways due to my current state of health.
More on that: the last few weeks have been somewhat roller-coaster. The fatigue overwhelms quite suddenly and just sucks any energy or motivation I may have. I have been trying to do some things and even simple stuff leaves me somewhat confounded and when I don't achieve what I set out to do - I droop into self-loathing and self pity and drape myself in misery. Ha ha caught you out - I don't! But, seriously, I'm not what I was and am coming to terms with the new me. Again it's the psychological effects that are causing me more concern. But I have a great helper in Kym - she doesn't allow me to take on stuff and tells me to let it pass by as all will eventually be well.
Any way I suggested that there wouldn't be much to read in this post sos in order to maintain my integrity I am going to do two things - one is to drop in the link to the video
Huxley & Headway
Secondly I want to include a poem which I gleaned from the Healthunlocked CLL forum.
So much of this applies to me and how to live as the new me.
"A
Blessing for a Friend on the Arrival of Illness
by
John O'Donohue
Now
is the time of dark invitation beyond
a frontier that you did not expect;
abruptly,
your old life seems distant.
You
barely noticed how each day opened a
path through fields never questioned,
yet
expected deep down to hold treasure.
Now
your time on earth becomes full of threat; Before your eyes your
future shrinks.
You
lived absorbed in the day to day, so
continuous with everything around you,
that
you could forget you were separate;
Now
this dark companion has come between you, distances
have opened in your eyes,
you
feel that against your will a
stranger has married your heart.
Nothing
before has made you feel
so isolated and lost.
When
the reverberations of shock subside in you, may
grace come to restore you to balance.
May
it shape a new space in your heart to
embrace this illness as a teacher who
has come to open your life to new worlds.
May
you find in yourself a
courageous hospitality towards
what is difficult, painful
and unknown.
May
you use this illness as
a lantern to illuminate the
new qualities that will emerge in you.
May
the fragile harvesting of this slow light help
you to release whatever has become false in you.
May
you trust this light to clear a path through
all the fog of old unease and anxiety until
you feel arising within you a tranquillity
profound
enough to call the storm to stillness.
May
you find the wisdom to listen to your illness: ask
it why it came? Why it chose your friendship?
Where
it wants to take you?
What
it wants you to know?
What
quality of space it wants to create in you?
What
you need to learn to become more fully yourself that
your presence may shine in the world.
May
you keep faith with your body, learning
to see it as a holy sanctuary which
can bring this night-wound gradually towards
the healing and freedom of dawn.
May
you be granted the courage and vision to
work through passivity and self-pity, to
see the beauty you can harvest from
the riches of this dark invitation.
May
you learn to receive it graciously, and
promise to learn swiftly hat it may leave you newborn,
willing
to dedicate your time to birth."
I plan to be writing again before Christmas. If you miss that post - I wish you a lovely CHristmastime and lets look forward to a peaceful, prosperous and panic-free 2016.
With love,
Roger & Kym
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