As I was breathing deeply in some eagerly waited fatigue-easing energy (keep it simple stupid!) another health-related matter ripped into my life. I say ripped because it came with pain. Pain like having an acid burn on the top of my head. It was accompanied by ear ache, dizziness and nausea. Oh dear thought I. Kym was also dropped into the mire of medical doubt and anxiety.
In one word - shingles:I surmised.
Google and the NHS website seemed to offer proof of this new treat. We had to contact the MAcmillan specialist nurse who advised an appointment with the GP. The result of this was a telephone consultation. The outcome of this reflected the uncertainty of the medic. Her suggestion was we wait because it didn't seem like shingles to her. She must believe in her own clairvoyance. We reluctantly did as bid.
Bank Holiday Monday I woke with painful lumpy, blistery spots on the back of my head and collar area close o where the acid pain had burned. Further Googling and all seemed to point to a dose of stinging shingles. Remember I wake at about 04:00 so a n hour or two of mithering before I felt I could wake Kym. This tale does not warrant being a long one - so to the point NHS 111 at 08:00. After only a short wait and a charming young operator took my details and after the inevitable interrogation informed me that a nursing operative would call me within two hours.
About an hour later the call came in and she went through many of the same questions - I prayed I would remember the answers! She made an appointment with a town centre GP telling them I had immunity issues. Issues? I've got the lot!
We made the appointment and the doctor confirmed our concerns; diagnosing shingles. She prescribed some hefty dose of anti-viral medication. We were somewhat reassured.
It was an odd Bank Holiday Monday. Never mind as we had shared the Sunday with James and Sarah; celebrating Sarah's birthday. I have to admit that because of how I was medically feeling it was a bit tricky fully entering into the joy. But great to be together.
After a couple of days we were still a little uncertain about the diagnosis. Kym had spoken to the Macmillan lot with our concerns and they postponed the next chemo by a week in order to give me the chance to recover and the lumps to scab and whatnot.
We were still not completely confident so - another appointment. This time at my surgery. This time we had consultation with a very interesting GP - who had worked with the Ross on Wye Mental Health Team and told us a tale of how he was involved in an incident disarming an individual behaving oddly with a crossbow! He also told us of an adventure he'd had in the far north of Scotland. This was an eye opener on the world of General Practice - a GP with time to chat! Mind you he had poked me in the most painful part of my skull. Yes shingles!
Thanks to Kym for pushing the buttons, driving me to these appointments and generally coping with my madness and moods.
As this is an impromptu post - I won't enthral (bore) you with musical matters or other nonsense. This will have to wait until the next one.
Best wishes,
Roger & Kym
Thoughts, feelings, life, times of Roger Huxley
Thursday 28 May 2015
Friday 22 May 2015
I've been proper queer!
Before anyone gets any odd ideas about me - well more than you already have - I mean "queer" in the sense of different and at odds with circumstance or personality. Like I'm in someone else's skin or storyline.
I've lost my sense of time and place. Probably that was happening due to the gradual declining quality and quantity of brain cells - I've termed it neural-autumnosis. Life becomes an ever increasing sequence of senior moments.
What I'm trying to say is this is unlikely to be an accurate, time-ordered narrative. The Huxley randomness is likely to overshadow any logical chronology.
The drugs were administered - intravenous and by pill. The body and mind reacted - after a short, euphoric, optimistic interlude - into the anticipated paranoid, irritated discomfort. The powerful cocktail sucked the life out of me like a damned Dyson on dextroamphetamine. That sounds clever - but I've no idea why!
Thank God for family and friends! Without them all, making even the smallest gesture of support, life would or could have become absolutely intolerable. Kym has been a diamond geezer (lady geezer!) without whom I would have not found the strength to get up and at em. Neither would I have been able to cope with the administration of the bagfulls of medication and the well-made schedule of drug times. She's fed me and taken me out - to where there are no infectious people - and put up with my moods: I think mostly drug-induced. She's put up with me not sleeping and being emotionally scratchy to the expense of her own sanity and exhaustion. She's lived a sympathetic chemo.
I don't want this to be a long monotonous moan about how this treatment is treating me. And how it's pretty much worse than any symptoms I experienced. It may help someone who randomly reads this and then thinks "Hey if this muttonhead can get through it then so can I" It's bad but better than leaving it and just fading away or worse.
To see and hear where the uke sits in my musical arsenal - here's a clip -
Sister Alicia Vacas
I've lost my sense of time and place. Probably that was happening due to the gradual declining quality and quantity of brain cells - I've termed it neural-autumnosis. Life becomes an ever increasing sequence of senior moments.
What I'm trying to say is this is unlikely to be an accurate, time-ordered narrative. The Huxley randomness is likely to overshadow any logical chronology.
The drugs were administered - intravenous and by pill. The body and mind reacted - after a short, euphoric, optimistic interlude - into the anticipated paranoid, irritated discomfort. The powerful cocktail sucked the life out of me like a damned Dyson on dextroamphetamine. That sounds clever - but I've no idea why!
Thank God for family and friends! Without them all, making even the smallest gesture of support, life would or could have become absolutely intolerable. Kym has been a diamond geezer (lady geezer!) without whom I would have not found the strength to get up and at em. Neither would I have been able to cope with the administration of the bagfulls of medication and the well-made schedule of drug times. She's fed me and taken me out - to where there are no infectious people - and put up with my moods: I think mostly drug-induced. She's put up with me not sleeping and being emotionally scratchy to the expense of her own sanity and exhaustion. She's lived a sympathetic chemo.
 |
| Kym doing what she likes a lot |
Sometimes my mind sees things through a telescope the wrong way round. I can't remember when I had the last chemo - one moment it seems like just yesterday and then it seems like weeks ago. But whenever it was this discomforts are easing. The fatigue is still draining my energies and motivations so I just have to ease myself into every attempt to do something or move somewhere. I've managed to resume my tai chi and other mobility exercises. Following even the gentlest session my legs still ache - although that's possibly to be expected because the drugs knock out my blood cell production and a lot of that is in the larger bones in the pelvis and thighs.
We had a positive consultation with Dr Flora - she was kindly helpful and answered all our questions. I've got three more chemo cycles planned. Also to minimise the risk of postponement I am to have blood tests a week prior to the due date and if necessary have the G-CFS to stimulate white cell and platelet production.
I accidentally loaded this photo (well .gif file) This is a moving duo selfie. I think google+ auto enhanced a number of snaps we took trying to get the perfect image (ha bloody ha!) It looks like a middle-aged couple with ADHD on a day trip away from the institution. I have to say that the only drugs used were caffeine and cake.
So sorry - I broke the flow of my tale.
Three more cycles to follow. After the next one I will be scanned and poked to determine how the treatment is ridding my body of the diseased lymph glands and the condition of organs like spleen, liver, heart and kidneys. It may then be possible to reduce the dosage for the last two. If things go according to plan (delusional optimism!) the end of the last cycle will be the end of August, and hopefully I will enter the recovery phase. Dr Flora says this will last for between three to six months - depending on my general health - which has been pretty good for my age!
After a couple of months they do more tests and assessments and if all the boxes are ticked - that is Remission - they can't cure this puppy. So we remain positive and focussed on recovery.
We had a big toddle a few weeks ago and got as far north as Northampton! We had to see Sarah - James was able to come along. As you know I'm a bit of a ukulele and guitar fan. I've tried to encourage Sarah to learn the uke - it's a nice, sweet, easy-to-play instrument perfectly capable of being suitable for all types of music. Sarah cheekily filmed me while I was having an encouraging little strum after she had handsomely fed us.
 |
| It's another moving image! |
To see and hear where the uke sits in my musical arsenal - here's a clip -
the song originates from my days at PGL - this was from 1975 at Llangors. I sort of re-composed it a couple of years ago and recorded it as a keep-me-going project during April this year. I finished! it in time for the General Election in May - the relevance being some of the original motivation was a comment on the 1975 referendum to join the Common Market.
The last bits of serious stuff - I hired a personal financial adviser to help me through the pensions issue. It was a bit of an ordeal - but he basically said that I'd done enough work myself and I had the best deals - better than he could offer. He didn't charge me for that - nice man with integrity. If you want his details contact me. So as my sick pay ends in a couple of months - together with accrued holiday - I have to find an income as I'm not fit for returning to work any day soon! I've got another session with an adviser to tie things up (which will cost) but it looks like we will have something to tide us over until Pension time in January. I'm trying to avoid any guilty feelings or anxiety - so perhaps as my song says "I'm playing at being an ostrich"!
What else have I being doing? Cycling? no - my balance and energy levels well are below Bradley Wiggins standard. I think Kym has a view on this - better leave it alone mate - I don't want to pick your pieces up out of the road.
Brewing - no - haven't had the energy - I think it's about the sterilising etc. I've got the ingredients - but not the motivation.
Graphic design - I've tried my hand at some little easy projects - Serif DrawPlus or GIMP together with the graphics drawing tablet - I can't really bite that cherry.
Work projects - well my concentration has just evapourated - I hit a little snag - and oops stagnation.
Ukulele and mandolin - some effort - but I don't seem to be able to sustain attention. Also noise can be a bit of a problem at certain times. I think the drugs have made me rather sensitive to certain frequencies and sudden blasts.
Still I've been meditating and doing both breathing and mobility exercises. I think I mentioned a little Tai Chi earlier in one of my posts. For at least a week of the cycle I have insufficient energy to physically exercise - indeed some days it's all I can do to get out of bed and walk to the loo or downstairs to the sofa. Hey this is Tuff Mudda stuff - forgive the uncool attempt at cool. Meditation and breathing do not take much physical effort; mainly a question of motivation and will.
Worrying, mithering whittering on - plenty of that. Reasons are that life has lost much of its focus and framework due to isolation and no workplace experience. Consequently the world in which we live appears to be more threatened and hostile. I had the idea that as my body is trying to kill itself so the world is turning upon itself in a similar way. I'll just share these ideas.
You might know there is a great song called "What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding", actually written by Nick Lowe, but originally recorded by the band Brinsley Schwarz and then a hit for Elvis Costello. I've even had a go at it a few times - don't worry nothing yet down on tape - well perhaps the next project?
Brewing - no - haven't had the energy - I think it's about the sterilising etc. I've got the ingredients - but not the motivation.
Graphic design - I've tried my hand at some little easy projects - Serif DrawPlus or GIMP together with the graphics drawing tablet - I can't really bite that cherry.
Work projects - well my concentration has just evapourated - I hit a little snag - and oops stagnation.
Ukulele and mandolin - some effort - but I don't seem to be able to sustain attention. Also noise can be a bit of a problem at certain times. I think the drugs have made me rather sensitive to certain frequencies and sudden blasts.
Still I've been meditating and doing both breathing and mobility exercises. I think I mentioned a little Tai Chi earlier in one of my posts. For at least a week of the cycle I have insufficient energy to physically exercise - indeed some days it's all I can do to get out of bed and walk to the loo or downstairs to the sofa. Hey this is Tuff Mudda stuff - forgive the uncool attempt at cool. Meditation and breathing do not take much physical effort; mainly a question of motivation and will.
Worrying, mithering whittering on - plenty of that. Reasons are that life has lost much of its focus and framework due to isolation and no workplace experience. Consequently the world in which we live appears to be more threatened and hostile. I had the idea that as my body is trying to kill itself so the world is turning upon itself in a similar way. I'll just share these ideas.
You might know there is a great song called "What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding", actually written by Nick Lowe, but originally recorded by the band Brinsley Schwarz and then a hit for Elvis Costello. I've even had a go at it a few times - don't worry nothing yet down on tape - well perhaps the next project?
The Brinsleys
These thoughts have nothing to do with music really. I listened to a talk by Sister Alicia Vacas, a Catholic nun working in and around Jerusalem with people who are poor, dislocated, and ill. She sees her work as bridge-building between the mixed people in this "holy" region. She sees her work as shining light into the cracks in the walls and barricades that authorities, religions, governments have erected to separate people, hope and love from each other.Sister Alicia Vacas
That is a link to some information about her and a video of her presentation at a conference.
Life is, once again, on the brink of great conflict Has it ever been any where else? We live in cultures of greed, envy, suspicion, self-centredness and power-mongering. This creates an environment of fear.
How can we diminish the fear so it stops crippling us? How do we achieve this peace?
By love. The Bible says that fear is the opposite of love. Jesus said love one another and the he also said love God and your neighbour as yourself. I believe that the Koran says similar things about loving one another for the sake of Allah and Love for Allah’s sake transcends the limits of our worldly existence. So it seems that there is a good place to start.
Peace needs justice for it to grow and sustain.
The things of growth needed for peace are love, dedication, hard-work, solidarity and forgiveness.
However, so often, the things we see now in front of us, in many places, are sectarianism, nationalism, fundamentalism and power struggles.
How do we grow from where we are now to a loving, peaceful world where justice is is the norm?
We need to look through those cracks with the light of love for our fellow human race. If we have faith then one of the characteristics of God is that he contains the essence of Love. God will work with us.
Only when those cracks in the barricades are burned open by the laser light of love will we have equality, dignity, freedom and our rights can be assumed, cherished and shared.
Sister Alicia says it better than me.
Well that's my bit of philosophy for the time being. Bu please think about what you can do.
I promised to offer you a contemporary musical artist - who's not dead and buried.
Reg Meuross is my man for you this Blog
Reg Meuross is a true modern day troubadour – commenting on life as he sees it, with some of the most beautifully disarming songs and lyrics ever written. FolkWords awarded England Green & England Grey Album of the Year 2014, and said Reg’s songs are ‘the hinges upon which swing the doors of perceptive English folk ‘
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reg_Meuross
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/worldfolkandjazz/11074278/Reg-Meuross-England-Green-and-England-Grey-album-review.html
Life is, once again, on the brink of great conflict Has it ever been any where else? We live in cultures of greed, envy, suspicion, self-centredness and power-mongering. This creates an environment of fear.
How can we diminish the fear so it stops crippling us? How do we achieve this peace?
By love. The Bible says that fear is the opposite of love. Jesus said love one another and the he also said love God and your neighbour as yourself. I believe that the Koran says similar things about loving one another for the sake of Allah and Love for Allah’s sake transcends the limits of our worldly existence. So it seems that there is a good place to start.
Peace needs justice for it to grow and sustain.
The things of growth needed for peace are love, dedication, hard-work, solidarity and forgiveness.
However, so often, the things we see now in front of us, in many places, are sectarianism, nationalism, fundamentalism and power struggles.
How do we grow from where we are now to a loving, peaceful world where justice is is the norm?
We need to look through those cracks with the light of love for our fellow human race. If we have faith then one of the characteristics of God is that he contains the essence of Love. God will work with us.
Only when those cracks in the barricades are burned open by the laser light of love will we have equality, dignity, freedom and our rights can be assumed, cherished and shared.
Sister Alicia says it better than me.
Well that's my bit of philosophy for the time being. Bu please think about what you can do.
I promised to offer you a contemporary musical artist - who's not dead and buried.
Reg Meuross is my man for you this Blog
.
Reg Meuross is a true modern day troubadour – commenting on life as he sees it, with some of the most beautifully disarming songs and lyrics ever written. FolkWords awarded England Green & England Grey Album of the Year 2014, and said Reg’s songs are ‘the hinges upon which swing the doors of perceptive English folk ‘
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reg_Meuross
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/worldfolkandjazz/11074278/Reg-Meuross-England-Green-and-England-Grey-album-review.html
That's all folks. Next Blog should include a review of Graham Parker.s great new album: "Mystery Glue" and also a review of the joint project between My Darling Clementine and the Mark Billingham called "The Other Half"
Health and happiness to everyone.
Health and happiness to everyone.
Thursday 7 May 2015
Fingers crossed: third time lucky!
Hello, a word (or two) of warning.
I'm not sure that I might jinx the situation - although I'm not superstitious - by writing this post. The last three booked chemo treatments have been postponed due to the low white cell count level in the blood (where-else?) It's half four and I've had no call from the Hospital so I'm hoping to get on with it tomorrow: Friday First of May - Mayday!!!!! During the last week I've had to inject myself with a solution to bring the levels up to such a point that the medics can cosh me back down with the chemo. As you can see I'm fluent in the medical lingo.
So how's it been? Well the fatigue has notched itself up a few points - I feel exhausted carrying out low level physical activity like walking, climbing the stairs, and I've gone a couple of short rides on Mr Sparkler - probable distance covered measured in metres rather than kilometres. I'm a year or two off the Tour de France. The lymph glands have reappeared and in my groin cause some discomfort and I also get some pressure in my breastbone area (solar plexus?). Throat is mildly sore much of the day and I often get a little catch - spittle or small things like coffee grains etc.
That is the end of the medical symptoms. I spent some time reading about CLL and whatever and then wished I hadn't. No wonder the Macmillan people advised me to avoid that. I ventured into the murky area of learned scientific papers to arm myself with a broader depth of knowledge. However I can't really process or retain stuff and all I manage to do is to frighten myself. So enough of that!
It seems like a few weeks since I last wrote anything. I hope that you feel empowered to make comments - I enjoy being in contact with the world out there. I love you all. An additional reason is that I'm in a sort of self-imposed internment. This has worked well because I have kept well and avoided other people's bugs.
Kym has been my anchor, rock and guiding light (sounds a bit scriptural) James, Anna and Sarah have kept me fascinated and entertained with what goes on in their lives. All our friends have shown great consideration and support. My friends at Headway have kept up their amazingly high level of contact with gifts, cards and counselling sessions. I am a lesser person without all of them.
I bought a graphics from Ebay the other week with a view to doing some digital sketching. It cost less than £40 and came all the way from China in about a week. Unpacking it I thought it to be a great.bit of gear. I've tried it but need to re-learn how to draw. It's a very different technique to the HB and cartridge paper. I'm going to persevere; however perseverance is not a skill I have much of at the moment - so don't hold your breath for any masterpieces!
All my selling activities on Ebay are finally over the last items packed off and hopefully the recipients are enjoying their bargains. It was rather a challenge particularly when the two gentlemen from Spain were unable to complete the deal. A lesson learned. If anyone wants to know the whole tale it's too boring for general distribution.
I couldn't go on without a little scripture. 1 Peter 5: 6 & 7. Humble yourselves therefore under God's mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you."
Have a look at his on-line exposition
Well, you can guess what happened! Rejection and delay - they actually sound like a pair of digital audio plugins!
Some improvement - but not enough and also platelet count down below the recommended level for treatment. After much pleading on my part they still said to wait another week and say there is nothing I can do. I've been charting the results - no need to post, because they
Well I had to rise to that challenge. A healthy diet - but I was already ticking that box. Low alcohol - again that box was pretty much ticked. Exercise: this involves body and mind - so some stuff for my well-being, some stuff for bodily function and some stuff for brain power. I had to be very careful not to over-tax myself. I have found it pretty hard going some of the time - well most of the time actually. I do get very fatigued after just a few minutes of very mild exercise. My little routine which I used to do in ten minutes now is done in about twenty with a break between each little activity. I manage to exercise most of my muscle groups; including some aerobic stuff to get my circulation going. Remember I used to cycle pretty much every day and that helped muscles and breathing.
Talking of cycling - in four months I've been out four times. The furthest distance was to the town centre - went into the bank and Holland & Barratt and then came back. Phew that was an adventure. Legs and butt were tight! Result was I had to do it all again (few weeks apart!) and visit Cycle King for some spare parts to fix brakes and stuff. All now done bike lubed up - but no energy to cycle!!!
How have I kept the brain ticking over - with an attention span of a goldfish? As I mentioned earlier I invested in a digital drawing tablet. Afraid to say it's not been hardly used. Loaded the software, checked out a drawing app (GIMP) and that has been it so far. I've tried to write some stuff for work - Newsletter is in the process and also the website - but the thinking / creative process is not running on all cylinders. Possibly due to tiredness but also some of the psychological issues that seem to have half-blindfolded me.
That is the end of the negativity.
The Independent Financial Advisor I'm hiring came and had a long session beginning to sort out my pension arrangements. I won't be et-setting or going on cruises - but hopefully with a little (hopefully) part-time work and / or ukulele and guitar teaching I should almost be able to make ends meet. No more guitars; I'm afraid. Actually the session proved a little emotional at times as we had to go over all the illness stuff again.
I said I would share some stuff about another musical hero of mine - here goes. I'm being brave to do it just after my humble out of tune offering.
It's Jim Croce. He was brought to my attention by Noel Edmonds, who was then presenting the Radio One Breakfast Show. I'd heard some of the songs before. But Noel's first announcement was that Jim had been killed in a plane crash. What is it about me and long-dead musicians? Well I suppose a lot of you like Beethoven and Bach or even perish the thought - Wagner!
Here's a link to one of his loveliest of songs. Oooh I'm an old romantic.
Synopsis
Jim Croce was born on January 10, 1943, in South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He started playing the accordion at age 5, and by his 20s, was touring in multiple folk bands. He released five studio albums and 11 singles. "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" and "Time in a Bottle" were both No. 1 hits on the American charts. He died in a tragic plane crash in Natchitoches, Louisiana on September 20, 1973, at the age of 30.
I recommend that you look him up.
A little political anecdote. My daughter Anna suggested I write to all our local candidates with a range of questions. As I'm currently intellectually challenged she put the words in my mouth - well keyboard actually. Emailing five candidates I expected some response. Eve of the Election no word from the parliamentary hopefuls.We had actually completed a postal vote that Kym had organised.
Morning of Polling day - an email pops up with a pretty (party line) comprehensive reply. Guess from whom? Andrew White our UKIP candidate. I wrote back and thanked him for his thoughtful correspondence but informed him he hadn't persuaded me. He graciously replied to thank me for asking and for acknowledging his answers. fair play - I didn't vote for him and I have some issues with their policies - but respect to the man.
Well best wishes to you all. Hopefully the Macmillan Staff will accept my blood levels tomorrow and I can get treatment. I have a Consultant Clinic on the twelfth so, again hopefully, some answers and some better signs of progress.
Looking back to the top - I don't know what I meant by a word of warning! Perhaps warning you off from reading. That is a great advert.
More news soon.
Roger and Kym
I'm not sure that I might jinx the situation - although I'm not superstitious - by writing this post. The last three booked chemo treatments have been postponed due to the low white cell count level in the blood (where-else?) It's half four and I've had no call from the Hospital so I'm hoping to get on with it tomorrow: Friday First of May - Mayday!!!!! During the last week I've had to inject myself with a solution to bring the levels up to such a point that the medics can cosh me back down with the chemo. As you can see I'm fluent in the medical lingo.
So how's it been? Well the fatigue has notched itself up a few points - I feel exhausted carrying out low level physical activity like walking, climbing the stairs, and I've gone a couple of short rides on Mr Sparkler - probable distance covered measured in metres rather than kilometres. I'm a year or two off the Tour de France. The lymph glands have reappeared and in my groin cause some discomfort and I also get some pressure in my breastbone area (solar plexus?). Throat is mildly sore much of the day and I often get a little catch - spittle or small things like coffee grains etc.
That is the end of the medical symptoms. I spent some time reading about CLL and whatever and then wished I hadn't. No wonder the Macmillan people advised me to avoid that. I ventured into the murky area of learned scientific papers to arm myself with a broader depth of knowledge. However I can't really process or retain stuff and all I manage to do is to frighten myself. So enough of that!
Other stuff
It seems like a few weeks since I last wrote anything. I hope that you feel empowered to make comments - I enjoy being in contact with the world out there. I love you all. An additional reason is that I'm in a sort of self-imposed internment. This has worked well because I have kept well and avoided other people's bugs.
Kym has been my anchor, rock and guiding light (sounds a bit scriptural) James, Anna and Sarah have kept me fascinated and entertained with what goes on in their lives. All our friends have shown great consideration and support. My friends at Headway have kept up their amazingly high level of contact with gifts, cards and counselling sessions. I am a lesser person without all of them.
I bought a graphics from Ebay the other week with a view to doing some digital sketching. It cost less than £40 and came all the way from China in about a week. Unpacking it I thought it to be a great.bit of gear. I've tried it but need to re-learn how to draw. It's a very different technique to the HB and cartridge paper. I'm going to persevere; however perseverance is not a skill I have much of at the moment - so don't hold your breath for any masterpieces!
All my selling activities on Ebay are finally over the last items packed off and hopefully the recipients are enjoying their bargains. It was rather a challenge particularly when the two gentlemen from Spain were unable to complete the deal. A lesson learned. If anyone wants to know the whole tale it's too boring for general distribution.
I couldn't go on without a little scripture. 1 Peter 5: 6 & 7. Humble yourselves therefore under God's mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you."
Have a look at his on-line exposition
Well, you can guess what happened! Rejection and delay - they actually sound like a pair of digital audio plugins!
Some improvement - but not enough and also platelet count down below the recommended level for treatment. After much pleading on my part they still said to wait another week and say there is nothing I can do. I've been charting the results - no need to post, because they
Well I had to rise to that challenge. A healthy diet - but I was already ticking that box. Low alcohol - again that box was pretty much ticked. Exercise: this involves body and mind - so some stuff for my well-being, some stuff for bodily function and some stuff for brain power. I had to be very careful not to over-tax myself. I have found it pretty hard going some of the time - well most of the time actually. I do get very fatigued after just a few minutes of very mild exercise. My little routine which I used to do in ten minutes now is done in about twenty with a break between each little activity. I manage to exercise most of my muscle groups; including some aerobic stuff to get my circulation going. Remember I used to cycle pretty much every day and that helped muscles and breathing.
Talking of cycling - in four months I've been out four times. The furthest distance was to the town centre - went into the bank and Holland & Barratt and then came back. Phew that was an adventure. Legs and butt were tight! Result was I had to do it all again (few weeks apart!) and visit Cycle King for some spare parts to fix brakes and stuff. All now done bike lubed up - but no energy to cycle!!!
How have I kept the brain ticking over - with an attention span of a goldfish? As I mentioned earlier I invested in a digital drawing tablet. Afraid to say it's not been hardly used. Loaded the software, checked out a drawing app (GIMP) and that has been it so far. I've tried to write some stuff for work - Newsletter is in the process and also the website - but the thinking / creative process is not running on all cylinders. Possibly due to tiredness but also some of the psychological issues that seem to have half-blindfolded me.
That is the end of the negativity.
The Independent Financial Advisor I'm hiring came and had a long session beginning to sort out my pension arrangements. I won't be et-setting or going on cruises - but hopefully with a little (hopefully) part-time work and / or ukulele and guitar teaching I should almost be able to make ends meet. No more guitars; I'm afraid. Actually the session proved a little emotional at times as we had to go over all the illness stuff again.
Creativity
I've done a bit of music practice - and resurrected an old song (from 1975). The link is below. My singing isn't good (stop the negatives) but is the best I can do without getting too serious and labouring over it. Hope it makes you smile a little. Just think I was only twenty four when I wrote the original song (has been modified a little since 2011). Can you imagine me as a twenty four year old? There is a photo in the movie as an enticement to watch it.
"I'm playing at being an ostrich" (c) theDodger
I said I would share some stuff about another musical hero of mine - here goes. I'm being brave to do it just after my humble out of tune offering.
It's Jim Croce. He was brought to my attention by Noel Edmonds, who was then presenting the Radio One Breakfast Show. I'd heard some of the songs before. But Noel's first announcement was that Jim had been killed in a plane crash. What is it about me and long-dead musicians? Well I suppose a lot of you like Beethoven and Bach or even perish the thought - Wagner!
Here's a link to one of his loveliest of songs. Oooh I'm an old romantic.
Jim Croce: Biography : Guitarist, Singer (1943–1973)
“If
you dig it, do it. If you dig it a lot, do it twice.”
Synopsis
Jim Croce was born on January 10, 1943, in South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He started playing the accordion at age 5, and by his 20s, was touring in multiple folk bands. He released five studio albums and 11 singles. "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" and "Time in a Bottle" were both No. 1 hits on the American charts. He died in a tragic plane crash in Natchitoches, Louisiana on September 20, 1973, at the age of 30.
I recommend that you look him up.
Au revoir!
Well I'm going to leave now. I thank you all for supporting me and reading my ramblings. We are on the cusp of a new political era and by the time you read this all will probably be revealed.A little political anecdote. My daughter Anna suggested I write to all our local candidates with a range of questions. As I'm currently intellectually challenged she put the words in my mouth - well keyboard actually. Emailing five candidates I expected some response. Eve of the Election no word from the parliamentary hopefuls.We had actually completed a postal vote that Kym had organised.
Morning of Polling day - an email pops up with a pretty (party line) comprehensive reply. Guess from whom? Andrew White our UKIP candidate. I wrote back and thanked him for his thoughtful correspondence but informed him he hadn't persuaded me. He graciously replied to thank me for asking and for acknowledging his answers. fair play - I didn't vote for him and I have some issues with their policies - but respect to the man.
Well best wishes to you all. Hopefully the Macmillan Staff will accept my blood levels tomorrow and I can get treatment. I have a Consultant Clinic on the twelfth so, again hopefully, some answers and some better signs of progress.
Looking back to the top - I don't know what I meant by a word of warning! Perhaps warning you off from reading. That is a great advert.
More news soon.
Roger and Kym
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)