I'm not sure that I might jinx the situation - although I'm not superstitious - by writing this post. The last three booked chemo treatments have been postponed due to the low white cell count level in the blood (where-else?) It's half four and I've had no call from the Hospital so I'm hoping to get on with it tomorrow: Friday First of May - Mayday!!!!! During the last week I've had to inject myself with a solution to bring the levels up to such a point that the medics can cosh me back down with the chemo. As you can see I'm fluent in the medical lingo.
So how's it been? Well the fatigue has notched itself up a few points - I feel exhausted carrying out low level physical activity like walking, climbing the stairs, and I've gone a couple of short rides on Mr Sparkler - probable distance covered measured in metres rather than kilometres. I'm a year or two off the Tour de France. The lymph glands have reappeared and in my groin cause some discomfort and I also get some pressure in my breastbone area (solar plexus?). Throat is mildly sore much of the day and I often get a little catch - spittle or small things like coffee grains etc.
That is the end of the medical symptoms. I spent some time reading about CLL and whatever and then wished I hadn't. No wonder the Macmillan people advised me to avoid that. I ventured into the murky area of learned scientific papers to arm myself with a broader depth of knowledge. However I can't really process or retain stuff and all I manage to do is to frighten myself. So enough of that!
Other stuff
It seems like a few weeks since I last wrote anything. I hope that you feel empowered to make comments - I enjoy being in contact with the world out there. I love you all. An additional reason is that I'm in a sort of self-imposed internment. This has worked well because I have kept well and avoided other people's bugs.
Kym has been my anchor, rock and guiding light (sounds a bit scriptural) James, Anna and Sarah have kept me fascinated and entertained with what goes on in their lives. All our friends have shown great consideration and support. My friends at Headway have kept up their amazingly high level of contact with gifts, cards and counselling sessions. I am a lesser person without all of them.
I bought a graphics from Ebay the other week with a view to doing some digital sketching. It cost less than £40 and came all the way from China in about a week. Unpacking it I thought it to be a great.bit of gear. I've tried it but need to re-learn how to draw. It's a very different technique to the HB and cartridge paper. I'm going to persevere; however perseverance is not a skill I have much of at the moment - so don't hold your breath for any masterpieces!
All my selling activities on Ebay are finally over the last items packed off and hopefully the recipients are enjoying their bargains. It was rather a challenge particularly when the two gentlemen from Spain were unable to complete the deal. A lesson learned. If anyone wants to know the whole tale it's too boring for general distribution.
I couldn't go on without a little scripture. 1 Peter 5: 6 & 7. Humble yourselves therefore under God's mighty hand that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you."
Have a look at his on-line exposition
Well, you can guess what happened! Rejection and delay - they actually sound like a pair of digital audio plugins!
Some improvement - but not enough and also platelet count down below the recommended level for treatment. After much pleading on my part they still said to wait another week and say there is nothing I can do. I've been charting the results - no need to post, because they
Well I had to rise to that challenge. A healthy diet - but I was already ticking that box. Low alcohol - again that box was pretty much ticked. Exercise: this involves body and mind - so some stuff for my well-being, some stuff for bodily function and some stuff for brain power. I had to be very careful not to over-tax myself. I have found it pretty hard going some of the time - well most of the time actually. I do get very fatigued after just a few minutes of very mild exercise. My little routine which I used to do in ten minutes now is done in about twenty with a break between each little activity. I manage to exercise most of my muscle groups; including some aerobic stuff to get my circulation going. Remember I used to cycle pretty much every day and that helped muscles and breathing.
Talking of cycling - in four months I've been out four times. The furthest distance was to the town centre - went into the bank and Holland & Barratt and then came back. Phew that was an adventure. Legs and butt were tight! Result was I had to do it all again (few weeks apart!) and visit Cycle King for some spare parts to fix brakes and stuff. All now done bike lubed up - but no energy to cycle!!!
How have I kept the brain ticking over - with an attention span of a goldfish? As I mentioned earlier I invested in a digital drawing tablet. Afraid to say it's not been hardly used. Loaded the software, checked out a drawing app (GIMP) and that has been it so far. I've tried to write some stuff for work - Newsletter is in the process and also the website - but the thinking / creative process is not running on all cylinders. Possibly due to tiredness but also some of the psychological issues that seem to have half-blindfolded me.
That is the end of the negativity.
The Independent Financial Advisor I'm hiring came and had a long session beginning to sort out my pension arrangements. I won't be et-setting or going on cruises - but hopefully with a little (hopefully) part-time work and / or ukulele and guitar teaching I should almost be able to make ends meet. No more guitars; I'm afraid. Actually the session proved a little emotional at times as we had to go over all the illness stuff again.
Creativity
I've done a bit of music practice - and resurrected an old song (from 1975). The link is below. My singing isn't good (stop the negatives) but is the best I can do without getting too serious and labouring over it. Hope it makes you smile a little. Just think I was only twenty four when I wrote the original song (has been modified a little since 2011). Can you imagine me as a twenty four year old? There is a photo in the movie as an enticement to watch it.
"I'm playing at being an ostrich" (c) theDodger
I said I would share some stuff about another musical hero of mine - here goes. I'm being brave to do it just after my humble out of tune offering.
It's Jim Croce. He was brought to my attention by Noel Edmonds, who was then presenting the Radio One Breakfast Show. I'd heard some of the songs before. But Noel's first announcement was that Jim had been killed in a plane crash. What is it about me and long-dead musicians? Well I suppose a lot of you like Beethoven and Bach or even perish the thought - Wagner!
Here's a link to one of his loveliest of songs. Oooh I'm an old romantic.
Jim Croce: Biography : Guitarist, Singer (1943–1973)
“If
you dig it, do it. If you dig it a lot, do it twice.”
Synopsis
Jim Croce was born on January 10, 1943, in South Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He started playing the accordion at age 5, and by his 20s, was touring in multiple folk bands. He released five studio albums and 11 singles. "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" and "Time in a Bottle" were both No. 1 hits on the American charts. He died in a tragic plane crash in Natchitoches, Louisiana on September 20, 1973, at the age of 30.
I recommend that you look him up.
Au revoir!
Well I'm going to leave now. I thank you all for supporting me and reading my ramblings. We are on the cusp of a new political era and by the time you read this all will probably be revealed.A little political anecdote. My daughter Anna suggested I write to all our local candidates with a range of questions. As I'm currently intellectually challenged she put the words in my mouth - well keyboard actually. Emailing five candidates I expected some response. Eve of the Election no word from the parliamentary hopefuls.We had actually completed a postal vote that Kym had organised.
Morning of Polling day - an email pops up with a pretty (party line) comprehensive reply. Guess from whom? Andrew White our UKIP candidate. I wrote back and thanked him for his thoughtful correspondence but informed him he hadn't persuaded me. He graciously replied to thank me for asking and for acknowledging his answers. fair play - I didn't vote for him and I have some issues with their policies - but respect to the man.
Well best wishes to you all. Hopefully the Macmillan Staff will accept my blood levels tomorrow and I can get treatment. I have a Consultant Clinic on the twelfth so, again hopefully, some answers and some better signs of progress.
Looking back to the top - I don't know what I meant by a word of warning! Perhaps warning you off from reading. That is a great advert.
More news soon.
Roger and Kym
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