Well with an intro paragraph like that you can guess which direction this post is going. I don't want to whinge . . . but . . .
Let's start a bit "glass half full" The news that my daughter Anna and her partner Mike are with child was pretty much the high spot: more of that later.
My other daughter Sarah persevered and passed her driving test. She now has a car and that will add much pleasure and opportunity to her life.
I recall fondly when I was first "with car". Perhaps more of that bit of history later. But I'm so proud of them and what they are doing.
James remains in India. He seems to be having deep, mixed experiences there. From my perspective, he travels a journey of discovery in so many dimensions. I'm proud of his courage, wisdom and ability to deal with the deep mysteries of mind and spirit; fundamentally people and their relationship with the Cosmos and the Source. Not the highway of my own spiritual journey but I admire his searching nature to remain dedicated to his pathway.
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| Himalaya |
Another high spot is that I'm still drawing breath, pension and the curtains in the morning! Despite bad knees, bladder and, obviously, blood - The Good Lord, the NHS and dearest Kym have kept me shuffling around our home. I've managed some work at the Foodbank some musical volunteering at Headway. Perhaps more importantly I've become a trustee of the CLLSA - Chronic Lymphocytic Leukaemia support Association. I had managed to cycle most days and indeed traded in the faithful Mr Sparkler for a small-wheeled Mr Packaway. Small wheels was a mistake - but in best Benny Hill style - I was having difficult in getting my leg over! My leg action has improved - although not to the extent need to ride a small-wheeler up a hill. Mind you my breathlessness doesn't help.
You can read some of the earlier posts to revisit my experiences with the Urology and Orthopaedic departments of the Luton & Dunstable Hospital - it's no wonder they're one of the most efficient in the country.
One of the big words in 2017 - well certainly from May onwards has been RELAPSE - basically it means that the first treatment of Chemo-immuno therapy didn't properly work and the CLL cells still proliferate reducing the production and function of other blood cells by choking the bone marrow and spleen from doing their normal business. From the first December 2017 I've been on a targeted therapy drug called Ibrutinib. It's very expensive (about $10,000 per tub)- but the Consultant says I'm worth it. I will need to take it for life - and it's been showing good results six or seven years on. So I'm hopeful. However, if the country goes down the pan and the NHS runs out of cash then I'm probably an option to save money - cost-benefit analysis - they can then stop paying my pension as well. Well that's the subject of a blog in the future!
Just before we move to a less than joyful section I thought I'd share a little steam with you. Our holiday this year was ti Manchester where we enjoyed the hospitality of Anna and Mike. We had a lovely trip out on the East Lancs Railway in wonderful, warm sunshine.
34092 going off to bed at Bury
LMS crab at Rawtenstall
Well it's been a year of losing family and friends. Most significantly to us were my Mom, Joan, in September; following a long period of living with profound vascular dementia. She passed peacefully in her home at Inspirations, Wolverhampton. Her home for ten years. We were able to put together a great send off with the help of the Staffordshire Christadelphians especially Brother Philip and Pete and Den's hospitality. We had a cake and chat feast following the more formal service. Although in reality it was quite informal - and I was pleased and privileged to lead the service - even the singing with my guitar. Thankfully the friends and family all sang with gusto - papering over the cracks in my abilities. I was very proud to be part of such a lovely family event. People traveled from far and wide; even from India - thank you James. We laid Mom to rest in a lovely woodland setting just on the edge of Perton. She lies within the bosom of her beloved natural world; with a symphony of birdsong and wind-blown trees, shrubs, flowers and grasses.
I miss her every day. I'm glad she's not aware of my own sufferings and debilitations. I'm pleased to realise that she last knew me as being happy - my relationship with Kym (although she wasn't aware we'd tied the knot) - and our trips together to our beloved Severn Valley railway at Bridgenorth of Kidderminster.
By coincidence, it's approaching the fiftieth anniversary of dad's passing. I feel we need to mark that occasion. Again I miss him every day - and never really recovered from his death. I was shocked and scared and felt that I had some guilt contributing to his pain and illness. It's never been fully sorted I have just coped but it changed the way my life shaped out. I'm sad every day that I never had a proper adult relationship with him - it has always been out of reach. Again I think I had lost something which somehow shaped my relationships over the years.
And then, a week before Christmas, completely out of the blue Kym's dad, Neville, was taken seriously ill and the following day sadly passed away. His whole family were with him and supported him through those difficult final hours.
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| Happier, sunnier and warmer days! |
We all spent Christmas together and were able to offer one another support. His kindness is the legacy that all the family carry forward. He had had a full and interesting life. His story would be worth reading; if anyone can compile the stories and put it to paper. My heart goes out to Pam and the others; particularly Kym.
At the end of August I lost two friends within a few days of each other. Tony Little my old buddy from PGL days and had settled in Ross on Wye submitted to the sadness which is dementia. Bobby Reid the late chair of Headway Luton ended her days struggling with cancer. She was always a light within the management of Headway: a caring and clear-headed voice. Both added much to the lives of whomever they related to.
I'm having a bit of a rant now . . . I wrote the final paragraphs - inspired stuff - and I saved it prior to previewing. Would you believe it - it wouldn't preview and when I reloaded the masterwork was missing. So I've got to try and recall my wit and wisdom and the other literary gems.
In essence, I was rounding things off and looking forward to 2018 with hopes and anticipating great joys.
Our final activity in 2017 was a visit, to us, by Sarah. We had some good chats and went to the Moat House for a meal - very good. It's always good to hear Sarah as she has great chat and optimism - well valued here. I'm pleased she is driving and getting experience by coming to us.
So with the fireworks; inside on the TV and outside in Luton's gardens we bid farewell to the old year.
What can we look forward to in 2018? Well my life is in the hands of The Holy One - a much better way of things. Possibly my health will sustain a remission in due course, maybe we'll sort out the kitchen, maybe we'll get some decorating done, possibly a little holiday, renewal and revival in church life and services, hopefully more guitar and singing, and some more trainspotting and railway modelling, and hopefully get back on the bike and much more.
I pray for peace and community growth in Luton and beyond. Also more governing and less politicking. I pray that we will discover what we are meant to be.
Blessings to one and all.
Roger
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